Independence

Just now I was on the bus, and I heard a young kid and his father talking in the seats behind me.

Well, not so much talking as it was... arguing. And then again not so much arguing as it was the father trying to placate a whiny secondary school kid.

It went something like this:

Dad: "Take this. It'll stop your cough."

Kid: "I doen waannnn..."

Dad: "Just take this. You won't cough so much."

Kid: "I doen liiiiike...."

After a while -

Dad: "Here. Bread."

Kid: "I doen waaannnn..."

Dad: "Eat this. You haven't finished your breakfast."

Kid: "Cannot finish before we reach school waaannnn..."

Dad: "You will go hungry."

Kid: "I eat in school laaaah..."

And then, the kicker -

Dad: "EH! What happened to your project?"

Kid: "I left at home laaah..."

Dad: "Why? I told you to check."

Kid: "I told the maid to put it inside, and she didennnnn..."

I was seriously annoyed by the kid. I cannot stand a whiny voice. I mean, if you want to whine, at least do it in short syllables, not dragging out a damn word for ten seconds.

And the maid thing just pissed me off.

Hello? How old are you?

Firstly, how difficult can it be to put a project into your bag and take it to school? Secondly, if you lose it/didn't bring it, at least accept the responsibility. Did your maid do your schoolwork for you too? How about your exams?

And the father!

Firstly, why in the world are you sending your kid to school? Can't your kid go to school by himself? It's not like the dad was driving the kid to school - they were BOTH taking the bus! Added trouble for you AND the son isn't exactly saving travelling time either! Secondly, why do you keep forcing the kid? It's clear he doesn't want anything to do with your suggestions, so forcing him is just pain for you, the kid, and the commuters around you.

In the end I just changed seat.

Such mollycoddling is just gross.

This comes amid the hoo hah about the SAF soldier letting his maid carry his field pack. Now I don't think I should comment on that - because I'm still in the army - but the standard of SAF soldiers is besides the point.

The point is, no one should carry your burden for you.

It's your field pack, you were assigned to it, so carry it. It's your army commitment, so you either see it all the way through, or find your own way to survive. And whatever happens, u take responsibility for it. Be it regret or joy, or a good mixture of both... it's all yours.

It's the reason I tend to not like sharing emotional stuff with my friends and family. For those people who have known me for some time, I am always the joker. I am the Kathy Griffin, the Margaret Cho, the occasionally vulgar, sometimes-not-funny-but-insulting nonsensical guy, the one you wouldn't like to hang out with for too long but is good in small doses.

You don't see me as the angry one, the one with hatred for general humanity and its prejudices, the one who is confused, the one who is sad, the one who disguises his sadness with poorly-constructed humor.

That's because I don't tell anyone about my sadness.

And of course, because I'm not that kind of a person... I won't go into details. :)

All I'm saying is, you were born alone, and you die alone. Unless you're one half of a Siamese twin.

So you have to be independent! Independence is the one quality that I believe will serve you well. And independence, incidentally, isn't something that you learn from going through school or army. Irene Ang and Steve Jobs never completed university. Most of the girls in Singapore never went through army.

You learn independence by seeing the alternative - the What If.

What if your parents suddenly die? What if all your assets fall drastically in value the next day? What if your parents throw you out? What if one day everyone finds you annoying and hates your jokes - if they haven't already? Who do you rely on?

You might rely on your parent's money, but if given a choice, would you take their money without qualms, or would you consistently think of ways to pay them back?

No one should carry the burden for you. It's easy to let someone else carry, because, after all, they're THERE. But what if one day they are not?

What then?

Earthquake?

Another earthquake measuring 6.8 on the Richter scale has hit Myanmar.

This just a few DAYS - within the same month - from the earthquake that hit Eastern Japan, and only a few WEEKS from the Christchurch Earthquake.

And WHEN in the world has Myanmar ever had an earthquake?

I believe in the end of the world, but to set it to Dec 2012 was a little too specific for me. I also felt that there should be a lot of omens and disasters that happen to lead up to it, a sort of natural disaster pile up that would culminate in the Earth's ruin in 2012.

Now I feel that it may be possible, because of all these disasters.

Damn...

Volunteering at Red Cross Singapore

Red Cross Singapore official website

Yesterday I spent the entire day volunteering at Red Cross Society Singapore, for Japan Earthquake relief efforts. Red Cross Society Singapore is accepting cash donations for Japanese relief aid - NOT donations in kind - all this week and throughout the next month.

The reason why they can't accept donations in kind is because there are no logistics available for RC Singapore to collate goods from various sources. It takes a lot of time to sort and organize items, and sometimes people donate really useless things like toys and books.

It's almost as if it's spring cleaning, and Singaporeans want to get rid of old things in their house under the pretense of "doing a good deed." -.-

Ways of Donating

It was a wonderful time I had volunteering, and if there was EVER a time that I felt Singaporeans were charitable and kind... it was yesterday.

Examples:

Two mothers came in, on separate occasions, with autistic kids to donate.

Two Bangladeshi workers came in to donate a couple of hundred dollars each.

An entire Mandarin-speaking family came in with an envelope and dropped off close to three thousand dollars worth of money collected from various sources.

A young man donated, and then wanted a donation box to be placed outside his shop.

A China-native came in and dropped off fifty dollars but did not want to be credited despite our insistence due to audit purposes.

A young 4 year-old was led in by her father, clutching a piggy bank, and right in front of us, she emptied its contents to donate to the relief fund.

I was really really touched. I think I teared up a little in the 3 o'clock hour, because there was this entire wave of people who dropped off money repeatedly, and as I thanked them most of them said, "Why are you thanking me? This is what we should be doing."

(Btw, I visited Japan in 2007 during a school trip and it was honestly one of the best trips I have ever had. I agree with Gwen Stefani that Harajuku is one of the most memorable places I have ever visited. So of course I had to volunteer, and I donated money as well.)

I met a couple of great, wonderful people too. No photos here to go up with them - YET - but there was Mari, a wonderful Japanese young woman who was beautiful and articulate. She was truly a global citizen, having had studied in Pennsylvania, parts of Europe and was now working in Singapore. Thankfully her family was on the West Coast of Japan and hence was not hit.

There was Ivy, a Singaporean who, like me, stayed on past her shift. She was funny, cheerful, and she was in the midst of learning Japanese because she planned to visit in December. She had to put her plans on hold... but she swears she will go back very soon someday to help in reconstruction efforts, something I wish to do as well.

There was Wayne, a really great, tough, mature guy whom I honestly liked the first minute I saw him. If I had an older brother I would have wanted it to be Wayne.

OK, funny story about Wayne and me...

Wayne came on the second shift, the shift I stayed on for despite not having signed up for it. When the second shift rolled around, I was supposed to roughly teach people what to do since I had already a few hours' experience to my credit.

This incredibly buffed, tanned guy, wearing a tight muscle polo tee-shirt came in, talking to another buffed, tanned guy, in a long-sleeved shirt, and when I was told they called in to volunteer together, I thought to myself, "Oh, they're definitely gay."

So when Wayne, in his polo tee, showing off his biceps, and his companion came around to me, the first thing I asked him was, "So how long have you two been together?"

He looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Together?" He asked. "With who?"

The first moment he spoke I thought to myself, Oh shit. He had none of the usual swish a "Muscle Mary" had when talking.

Definition!

Muscle Mary, noun: a really muscular, buffed gay guy who spends countless hours working out in the gym to achieve a phenomenal physique, but when he opens his mouth the voice of a diva comes out. Usually dances with all the manliness of Kylie Minogue.

I tried saving my ass. "Oh, you mean you aren't...?"

His companion, T, looked at Wayne and burst out laughing. "Oh, no! Definitely not, dear!"

OK, so Wayne wasn't gay. Can't say the same about T, though.

They turned out to be only colleagues and they had decided to volunteer together two days before. The final nail in the coffin?

During a break, I overheard Wayne telling T, "Oh, man. I miss soccer so much. I used to be a damn good striker in JC, then I got an injury and my coach shifted me to defender."

Soccer? Gay, schmay.

So by the end of the whole day, I was really impressed with the inner beauty of Singaporeans.

But as I was going home, as if to tell me "Don't get your hopes up", God sent me a little incident.

As I was crossing the road, I heard a shout. Two Singaporean drivers, each in their own wonderfully expensive and well-maintained car, had their windows rolled down and was having a shouting match. I have no idea what they were shouting over - what can you shout over in the middle of the road anyway? - but there were vulgarities thrown about, middle fingers, angry expressions, and at one point in time one driver's friend, who was in the backseat, rolled down HER window to join in the verbal catfight.

Oh God, you are ever the realist.

Anyway, I took two photos with the volunteer organizer Ms Faridah and another Japanese volunteer, Ms Soroyo. When I get them I'll post them up!

Please do come down and help if you can! Next week's slots are all full but you can call now to reserve a place for next NEXT week!

Below: a video from CNN to show just how important our support and help is at this crucial point in time for Japanese citizens!

Volunteer with RC