A recap of yesterday night! I went clubbing at one of the renowned AJ clubs in Singapore, somewhere along Neil Road - my usual weekendly routine of unwinding and destressing - and I met a group of self-proclaimed "fag hags".
One of my good friends and campmates knows the Fag Hag Leader in the group - let's call her S - and we went to the bar not far from the club to get high before heading in.
Here's a secret: I don't have many fag hag friends. The gal pals I know are either lesbian, straight and couldn't care less about gays, or are attached permanently to Gray's Anatomy (the textbook, not the show, although some are diehard fans too).
As the great diva Margaret Cho once said, "behind every successful gay man is an even more successful fag hag." (or other words to the effect). I know - how unrepresentative of me. So sue me.
But this was my first time hanging out with girls inside a gay bar and club and boy, what an eye opening experience!!
First of all, the girls were texting like crazy: maybe it's the whole tech craze thing but to a hormonal gay boy it's so weird to see no one pay attention to the hordes of hot guys wandering around with their other halves. Second of all, when they DID pay attention it was funny to see it become a reversed one-sided situation: now the GUYS didn't give the girls a flying hoot. Well, because they were gay, but also because most of them that I could see were attached.
Which brings me to my next point: where are all the single people?
Beyonce had it wrong when she sang that ubiquitous hit, All the Single Ladies AREN'T putting their hands up. Because I sure as hell couldn't see them when I went to the bar, and later to the club.
Everyone was hanging off the arm of another guy.
A recently-made friend of mine, a cute swimmer who talks as much, if not more than, me, just got hooked.
A guy I had a brief fling with and made me hook on to his every word and whim moved on at lightning speed and seemed so happy last night at the club.
A close friend of mine who is also a Geminian is very happily attached with a professional belter (singing, not the accessory).
Another friend who was, and is, still my first and only crush, had someone falling head over heels for him by the night's end.
It was getting sad to dance alone, with some random guy who eventually turned back to his boyfriend and mouthed, "Who the fuck is he?"
I guess I shouldn't have done the booty shaking part, a la J Lo.
Kidding.
S and I were later texting, and she told me that if I was "desperate" I should hit on my single campmate friend - off limits by the way - and I quickly corrected her. "It's Couples Envy", I texted back.
DEFINITION: Couples Envy, noun, an illness where you look at the successful, loving couples around you and feel a pang of jealousy in your gut and a sudden need to alleviate it by kissing the guy/girl nearest to you.
There's a reason why more alcohol is ingested every Valentine's Day instead of any other day. Look around you, and all those couples are smooching, kissing, groping, having all sorts of fun, and all you can think about is, "what is wrong with me?"
What is wrong that I can't find myself an other half?
"Couples Envy" hits every one, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, and even if you are in a relationship, you might find yours unsatisfying. Hence you might envy ANOTHER couple.
Dr. Cristina Yang has got NOTHING on my medical knowledge. Consider yourself warned. :)
First of all, the girls were texting like crazy: maybe it's the whole tech craze thing but to a hormonal gay boy it's so weird to see no one pay attention to the hordes of hot guys wandering around with their other halves. Second of all, when they DID pay attention it was funny to see it become a reversed one-sided situation: now the GUYS didn't give the girls a flying hoot. Well, because they were gay, but also because most of them that I could see were attached.
Which brings me to my next point: where are all the single people?
Beyonce had it wrong when she sang that ubiquitous hit, All the Single Ladies AREN'T putting their hands up. Because I sure as hell couldn't see them when I went to the bar, and later to the club.
Everyone was hanging off the arm of another guy.
A recently-made friend of mine, a cute swimmer who talks as much, if not more than, me, just got hooked.
A guy I had a brief fling with and made me hook on to his every word and whim moved on at lightning speed and seemed so happy last night at the club.
A close friend of mine who is also a Geminian is very happily attached with a professional belter (singing, not the accessory).
Another friend who was, and is, still my first and only crush, had someone falling head over heels for him by the night's end.
It was getting sad to dance alone, with some random guy who eventually turned back to his boyfriend and mouthed, "Who the fuck is he?"
I guess I shouldn't have done the booty shaking part, a la J Lo.
Kidding.
S and I were later texting, and she told me that if I was "desperate" I should hit on my single campmate friend - off limits by the way - and I quickly corrected her. "It's Couples Envy", I texted back.
DEFINITION: Couples Envy, noun, an illness where you look at the successful, loving couples around you and feel a pang of jealousy in your gut and a sudden need to alleviate it by kissing the guy/girl nearest to you.
There's a reason why more alcohol is ingested every Valentine's Day instead of any other day. Look around you, and all those couples are smooching, kissing, groping, having all sorts of fun, and all you can think about is, "what is wrong with me?"
What is wrong that I can't find myself an other half?
"Couples Envy" hits every one, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, and even if you are in a relationship, you might find yours unsatisfying. Hence you might envy ANOTHER couple.
Dr. Cristina Yang has got NOTHING on my medical knowledge. Consider yourself warned. :)
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