The Kids Are All Right

**MILD SPOILERS AHEAD**

Since Academy Award buzz is still up over the Web...

I managed to finish watching The Kids Are All Right (one of the 10 pictures nominated for Best Picture which eventually went to The King's Speech) over this weekend, and after watching it, I feel a great deal of emotion, regarding both the film and Singapore's decision to censor it in Singapore, giving it an R21 rating and a "one print" restriction.

Yes, I have managed to watch it still - don't ask me how - and after watching it, I have two thoughts: disgusted at Singapore's censorship laws and marvelling at the beauty of the relationship between Nic and Jules in the film.

It is so difficult to start a relationship, be in a relationship, let alone maintain it for 18 years, which is how old the daughter in the film, Joni, is. The movie celebrates such a relationship, from the little ways Nic and Jules poke fun at each other, have oral sex, have dinner around the table, etc.

It also warns of the pitfalls of such a long relationship, from the eventual staleness of sex, to feeling unappreciated, to looking at your partner, and sometimes just feeling... nothing.

Recently, my one and only crush - whom we shall call K - celebrated his 21st birthday, and at the dinner at a Japanese restaurant we met two of his friends, who have been together for 8 years.

EIGHT YEARS.

(Yes, I am nineteen, so eight years is a relatively long time for me.)

And during the dinner, they still looked at each other lovingly, playfully poked each other's arm once in a while, and presented K's birthday gift to him together...

I was so amazed.

What went through my head was how much work it takes to maintain a successful relationship, to be attached to each other through time and rough times and poor decisions. And for those who work hard, and put in the effort, it really does pay off.

What makes this tougher for gay guys more so than lesbian women - and this is a well-known fact - is that guys are hornier. The topic of "sex" is always on our minds, and after 8 years, it would really take a lot of effort to still consistently surprise and satisfy your partner, keeping him with you and not let him be drawn to other people.

And yet, even though the couple in The Kids Are All Right face the same challenges, somehow they manage to come out, pun intended, all right. It truly is a feel-good movie for the family.

But Singapore's censorship board has said it "promotes and normalises a homosexual lifestyle", finding fault with the normalcy in which the lesbian family in the movie goes through daily life. What is wrong with that?

Joni has to grow up, go to college, her younger brother Laser has to deal with bad company and like any married couple, Jules and Nic have to juggle their relationship, their careers, and parenthood.

If anything, it is beautiful that they go through their troubles like any other couple - showing the world that yes, their family is no different from anyone else's.

It is sad and insulting that Singapore's censors have chosen to again hide the beautiful portrayal of a same-sex relationship through bigoted conservatism and poorly-considered restrictions.

Look at how Jules and Nic watch television together. Look at how they make decisions about their kids, go shopping for groceries, have dinner with their mutual friends, laugh and cry together. If you tell me you don't find it heartwarming, you have no heart.

Why censor it otherwise?

In fact, I was so emotionally invested in the film, I must say I felt a little jealous as I watched it...

Yes! I got stricken with Couples Envy... of a fictional gay couple!

And that's because that is where I want to eventually see myself: spending the rest of my life with the love of my life.

Choosing our friend's birthday gift together. Reading in bed next to him. Watching a fancy self-congratulatory awards show during dinner with him, where we'll both criticize the horrible fashion choices of some of the A-listers. Not that my fashion choices are any better.

And of course, I want to fight with him too, disagree with him, and having to put in the effort to make our relationship stronger. What is true love without a few problems along the way? If he is your true love, these problems are the ones that can be resolved... so work hard, and resolve them.

And in the end, things, hopefully, will be all right. :)