Sunday, March 6, 2011

Spell It Out For Me

Yesterday night was so much fun!!!

Went out clubbing again, and for a change this time around, I DIDN'T waste myself! For the past two weeks, I was bouncing around, talking to random people, drinking abundantly, and before the night was over I would be more wasted than Lady Gaga's talent in Singapore.

But yesterday I regulated my drinking. No dinner drinks, no pre-clubbing warm-up shots, only an apple cider, glass of white wine and store-bought LIT before entering the club, and only a cranberry rum after I entered! Woohoo.

As a result, yesterday I was very lucid. Still, because the music was extremely good - David Guetta and J.Lo back to back! - I managed to dance up a storm with my campmate/fellow clubber friend M. Also M's self-proclaimed fag hag friends were there as well, and it was fun hearing them dish on the gay guys and lesbian fights taking place around them.

And, get this: Remember that date I spoke about in Anti-Valentine's Day? The one I thought was into me, but turned out to be avoiding me?

I bumped into him yesterday night in the club! I was totally gracious toward him. We're cool, man, we're cool.

But a part of me couldn't help wondering, "What went wrong?" As you know, I thought the date went pretty well, and so I almost bounded after him to ask, "Hey, mind telling me what turned you off?"

Thank God for Issac, one of my incredibly-good friends, who kept me from going after him and demanding an explanation. In the end I just let it go, chalking it up to one of those things that just wasn't meant to be, a myriad of misperceptions and misunderstandings.

We're cool man, we're cool.

See, here's the thing. I'm very much like a straight guy in the sense that you have to spell it out for me. I'm extremely EXTREMELY bad at taking hints, as many of my friends will tell you. I am terribly bad at assessing my surroundings, and I have to work hard at my situational awareness especially in cases where emotions are running high. In the end I am more likely to crack a really inappropriate joke that will either defuse the tension or make it 100% worse.

So if you are on a date with me, and something I'm doing isn't to your liking, you need to make it clear to me what I'm doing wrong. And by 'clear' I don't mean little "er-hems" that are supposed to mean something to me other than you have phlegm in your throat.

(Yes. I'm a blockhead that way. Think Phil Dunphy from Modern Family.)

Of course I'm not stereotyping straight guys. I know some who are very savvy at EQ, and are able to play out emotions like a member of a professional bomb squad.



But I'm not like that. I can actively change what I'm doing, shut up, or try to improve the situation, but only if you make it obvious there is something about me you're not getting. Otherwise, it won't go anywhere with me, and you'll end up still being frustrated.

And of course, I won't be able to read if you're not into me. It's a skill I'm working on - please do not forget I'm only 19 years of age - so I need a lot of spelling-it-out-for-me in this aspect. Don't start avoiding me, because then I'll start messaging you with things like, "Dude. Are you alive?"

Of course after a while I'll get the hint and back off, but it would really save me some time and self-doubt if you would just take the small effort to text back, "Hey. I think we should be friends for now."

I would text that to you if, on my side, I felt things weren't going right, so I expect the same courtesy. How difficult can that be?

"Girl, give it up! He's just not that into you."

No comments:

Post a Comment