I'm Not Usually Violent, But...

...I can't stand people who mistreat animals.

Just now I saw two KITTENS downstairs. So fucking cute... but so fucking abandoned! When I tried to move toward them, maybe pick them up, do something, hand them off, THEY BOLTED.

Straight into the gutter and away to who-knows-where.

Kittens, can you believe it? So adorable, and young, and already scared of the world.

Pissed off at whoever left them behind. (I mean to say I'm pissed off, but I guess the kittens could be too.)

On top of that, have you been reading the local news lately?

A local 13-year-old kid scams sympathetic owners looking to give away their dogs by saying he is a GRIEVING ex-OWNER, then GETS THEIR DOGS and SELLS THEM!!

WTF.

That seriously pisses me off. And his reason for that? "So [he] can get more money to go out."

I sincerely felt like SMACKING him in the head. I felt like just succumbing to my once-in-a-while violent tendencies. That kid will grow up to be a financial criminal. Or the CEO of a bank. Trust me on that one, it goes either way. Why can't you get a job if your parents aren't able to give you extra pocket money? Why can't you just save if you want to go out? Or even better... why don't you just stay home if you can't afford it at all?

Why must you come up with this stupid scheme that hurts those poor innocent animals?

I have never had an Ipod, and the day I get one it's because I've worked hard to earn the money to buy one, or I've saved up sufficiently. Currently I'm saving to get a camera. That's my belief, and I stick to it.

And then how about the random guy who got fined $50,000 because he took over a dog breeding facility and completely screwed up by being too cheap? He fed the dogs $450 worth of dog food when they're supposed to get $1500. He made them eat from one large bowl and OF COURSE the tougher dogs are going to push away the weaker ones!

I think it is absolutely deserving that he got $50,000 fine, which he couldn't pay and therefore is going to serve a jail term. This is because his reason for going into the industry was that he thought it was LUCRATIVE!!

Come on, people start breeding businesses because they genuinely LOVE animals and pets! You don't go into it with ZERO knowledge - because you're too cheap to educate yourself - and then ill-treat your animals - because you're too cheap to give them proper care - THEREFORE THAT IS JUST DUMB!!

I think he should have gotten a harsher punishment in fact.

Those poor, innocent fellows. I'm angry thinking about it already.

Ugh. I'm always for cheapness - in fact, I advocate it - but this is going too far!

Singapore 2011

Yesterday WP held a rally near my house. It was crazy, because the roads were congested, and when the rally officially ended there was such a bottleneck of people that no cars moved for about an hour. Buses, as well, were packed to the max.

People all over the world are invested in this election, me included. Now as my close friends know, I ha(d) absolutely no emotional investment in this country. This country, to me, held nothing special in terms of my future, only in my memories and my past as a child. And as we all know, the past is good to remember, but choosing to stay in one place because of it is tantamount to the destruction of your own future.

It would do the People's Action Party (PAP) good to remember that.

Why are citizens speaking out against the ruling party? Why have PAP rallies garnered a few thousand people, but WP and SDP rallies garnered at least TEN thousand people? Why would anyone be an ingrate and go against Lee Kuan Yew, who singlehandedly built this country from scratch?

Because there is respect for Lee Kuan Yew, but NOT his cabinet. Lee Kuan Yew is the man who started it all, but he did not realize that the people he has chosen are too incompetent to carry on his legacy and prowess. Yes, I think he is great. Not many people in the world can bring a struggling baby nation to the well-known economic city it is known as now.

But if there is one mistake he has made - he has chosen people WRONGLY and those people have STIFLED DISSENT.

He has jailed political opponents. Look at the harassment of Jeyaretnam. Look at how he has dealt with Chee Soon Juan. OK, granted, Dr Chee shot his mouth off rather stupidly, but that guy is fearless anyway. He's not afraid of being prosecuted.

Then look at how his handpicked Parliament has denied Sylvia Lim's requests to revise ministerial pay. Sylvia Lim is a smart, strong woman who has on many occasions proven that her views and opinions are relevant to the modern citizen living in ANY city today.

Yet, look at who else is in parliament and heard. THIO LI ANN, one of the greatest pieces of bullshit to ever walk this Earth. Who openly HATES on LGBT people in Singapore, and YET, IRONICALLY, teaches Human Rights in NUS. That woman is brimming with hatred.

A side note on Thio Li Ann: Her story on how God "spoke to her" is FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

"I basically had a sense that God was talking to me. I had stood up to walk out and I heard someone say, 'Stop'. And no one was around me. Everybody was busy doing their own thing. I was one of only one or two Chinese girls in this whole room of ang mohs. And then I just had the sense that I had encountered God, that he knew my name and I was shocked." Thio was quoted as saying in the interview.^[36]

OK, really??

God, with a plate FULL of things to do, ranging from saving people dying in various wars across the world, to engineering wonderful coincidences which result in scientific breakthroughs, decided to somehow have a joke to tell you "STOP!" just so you could hate on 10% - 20% of the world?

REALLY? EGOISTIC MUCH?

You know, I have a better idea of who told you to stop. It was the priest who was standing to the side of the pews, afraid he would lose one more person to listen to him. It was another "ang-moh" - btw we call them Caucasian now, nice of them to have let you study in their country, yeah? - who didn't want that simpering Asian girl to leave so he could have a shot at her.

It is ridiculous, and senseless, and just shows how irrational you are. I mean, God could have made his presence to people. With LIGHT. With IMAGES. With AN ENTIRE SPEECH. It's a church, for crying out loud! His homeground!

With ONE WORD "Stop!" I would, as a rational person, search for a more logical explanation, especially if you used to be the "arrogant, arrogant, atheist" you claimed to have been before.

Yes, that was very well-done, TLA. And it was even more well done, Parliament, when you stomped your chairs and feet to cheer on her disgusting hate speech.

He has not allowed debate for the death penalty, which I find it preposterous to apply on drug criminals. He has not allowed for arts groups to "disparage the Government and its beliefs". Sorry, Tina Fey, you can't come here. Seth Rogen, you spoke the truth, but... oh well, better luck next time!

A terrorist escaped, but all that was given was a half-hearted apology - in a meandering, long-winded way that more likely attributed it to the guy's intelligence.

You are too complacent. You believe that the country is yours by default. You still keep with the beliefs of the 1960s when the rest of the world has moved forward. You think the people will forever be indebted to you. You think you DESERVE the people's votes. This is 2011. People want change. You have been ruling for 40 years. Give it up, let someone else take over. They might pleasantly surprise you. Sylvia Lim is as smart, if not smarter, than Lim Hwee Hua hands down.

The result of that is that... well, we'll see. But all I feel is, none of you is deserving of ANYTHING. Least of all from the people that never had anything to begin with.

The Return of Couples Envy

Couples' Envy

DEFINITION: Couples Envy, noun, an illness where you look at the successful, loving couples around you and feel a pang of jealousy in your gut and a sudden need to alleviate it by kissing the guy/girl nearest to you.

After a long time away, Couples Envy finally returned last night in full force at the club!

(But no, I did not kiss anyone near me. First of all I was drunk from Bluespin, which inhibits me actually, and Issac - if ur reading this - do not drink it ANYMORE EVER AGAIN. And secondly I have self-restraint and dignity.)

But last night's Couples Envy was way worse, 'cos Melvin, who used to be my other Swingin' Single Sister (SSS), is now (semi-)attached!

DEFINITION: Swingin' Single Sister, or SSS, noun, a friend who is supposed to be perennially-unattached, a person whom you can bitch with regarding all those couples openly displaying their affections everywhere.

But yesterday! Fuck, man, Melvin joined the dark side! He flipped his alliance! He became a member of that group I mock so openly and cruelly! Him and his squeeze were mooching it up at May Wong's Cafe, and in fact, so were Issac and Marco.

Each couple took up one of those big throne chairs to make out, while I, the wondrous fifth wheel, had to proclaim, "I have a throne chair to myself, so both of you lovey-dovey couples can SUCK IT!" And then I proceeded to flip them all off.

So much for dignity.

It was deja vu all over again, because this happened already ONCE before. Me, the only single person left in the room. I was like Jessica Biel in Valentine's Day.

So of course I had another bout of Couples' Envy, besides the bout of gastric flu I already had going.

Only this time it was worse, because my SSS, Melvin, HAD TURNED ON ME!! Betrayed the alliance. Destroyed the faith the covenant placed in him. Became untrustworthy. I almost put a fatwa on his head right there and then.

Of course I'm happy for him, but I just can't help but to feel jealous and envious. It's natural I think, because it feels as though I'm the last one on the shelf.

(At 19?! What a weirdo, I know, for thinking that.)

But of course, I'm not going to rush things. The Powers That Be have a plan for me, and nature will take its course.

Right now, my greatest concern is to recover from this nasty virus so I can be part of PA Paddle Championships next weekend! On top of that, my cousin's wedding is on Saturday! AS WELL AS Timbre Rock & Roots, featuring John Legend and Imogen Heap! I won free tickets from 987fm!

PA Paddle Championships

Will be very busy this Saturday! Time to rest!

Oh, and fuck love! :)

Independence

Just now I was on the bus, and I heard a young kid and his father talking in the seats behind me.

Well, not so much talking as it was... arguing. And then again not so much arguing as it was the father trying to placate a whiny secondary school kid.

It went something like this:

Dad: "Take this. It'll stop your cough."

Kid: "I doen waannnn..."

Dad: "Just take this. You won't cough so much."

Kid: "I doen liiiiike...."

After a while -

Dad: "Here. Bread."

Kid: "I doen waaannnn..."

Dad: "Eat this. You haven't finished your breakfast."

Kid: "Cannot finish before we reach school waaannnn..."

Dad: "You will go hungry."

Kid: "I eat in school laaaah..."

And then, the kicker -

Dad: "EH! What happened to your project?"

Kid: "I left at home laaah..."

Dad: "Why? I told you to check."

Kid: "I told the maid to put it inside, and she didennnnn..."

I was seriously annoyed by the kid. I cannot stand a whiny voice. I mean, if you want to whine, at least do it in short syllables, not dragging out a damn word for ten seconds.

And the maid thing just pissed me off.

Hello? How old are you?

Firstly, how difficult can it be to put a project into your bag and take it to school? Secondly, if you lose it/didn't bring it, at least accept the responsibility. Did your maid do your schoolwork for you too? How about your exams?

And the father!

Firstly, why in the world are you sending your kid to school? Can't your kid go to school by himself? It's not like the dad was driving the kid to school - they were BOTH taking the bus! Added trouble for you AND the son isn't exactly saving travelling time either! Secondly, why do you keep forcing the kid? It's clear he doesn't want anything to do with your suggestions, so forcing him is just pain for you, the kid, and the commuters around you.

In the end I just changed seat.

Such mollycoddling is just gross.

This comes amid the hoo hah about the SAF soldier letting his maid carry his field pack. Now I don't think I should comment on that - because I'm still in the army - but the standard of SAF soldiers is besides the point.

The point is, no one should carry your burden for you.

It's your field pack, you were assigned to it, so carry it. It's your army commitment, so you either see it all the way through, or find your own way to survive. And whatever happens, u take responsibility for it. Be it regret or joy, or a good mixture of both... it's all yours.

It's the reason I tend to not like sharing emotional stuff with my friends and family. For those people who have known me for some time, I am always the joker. I am the Kathy Griffin, the Margaret Cho, the occasionally vulgar, sometimes-not-funny-but-insulting nonsensical guy, the one you wouldn't like to hang out with for too long but is good in small doses.

You don't see me as the angry one, the one with hatred for general humanity and its prejudices, the one who is confused, the one who is sad, the one who disguises his sadness with poorly-constructed humor.

That's because I don't tell anyone about my sadness.

And of course, because I'm not that kind of a person... I won't go into details. :)

All I'm saying is, you were born alone, and you die alone. Unless you're one half of a Siamese twin.

So you have to be independent! Independence is the one quality that I believe will serve you well. And independence, incidentally, isn't something that you learn from going through school or army. Irene Ang and Steve Jobs never completed university. Most of the girls in Singapore never went through army.

You learn independence by seeing the alternative - the What If.

What if your parents suddenly die? What if all your assets fall drastically in value the next day? What if your parents throw you out? What if one day everyone finds you annoying and hates your jokes - if they haven't already? Who do you rely on?

You might rely on your parent's money, but if given a choice, would you take their money without qualms, or would you consistently think of ways to pay them back?

No one should carry the burden for you. It's easy to let someone else carry, because, after all, they're THERE. But what if one day they are not?

What then?

A Funny Dynamic

Yesterday I was at another camp for a course, and it was only during lunchtime that I remembered my best friend was actually posted in that camp!

My best friend is straight, so it's a funny dynamic we have. Most of the gay people I know have only best friends who are gay, and their circle of friends tends to also be exclusively AJ.

Of course it's expected, because nothing bonds two people more than a common trait like sexual orientation.

But why make things so exclusive?

Can't a straight guy be best friends with a gay guy?

First of all, I have to admit I have some very un-AJ tastes. Sure, I love Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and don't get me started on the Wonder Girl Taylor Swift, but my favorite band in the world is Angels and Airwaves.

I love their fantastic intros, space-inspired atmospherics, experimental style and varied themes. What's more, lead singer Tom DeLonge was formerly (presently?) of another fantastic band Blink 182, and their current bassist Matt Wachter was also formerly from the great great 30stm.

My best friend loves AvA too, and we both attended their first concert in Singapore in 2008.

On top of that, we share a devotion to FRIENDS, and it's funny how we used to quote lines back and forth at each other at rapid speed. I love Phoebe most, while he loves Chandler.

That's not the only TV show we love... SURVIVOR is another big part of our shared entertainment interests. He thinks Russell Hantz's the best, I think Rob Mariano was a hoot back in Survivor: Heroes vs Villains. What a coincidence season 22 features both of them in opposing tribes.

We had both joined canoeing back in our junior year, and we both share a love for fitness and health, what with him being all tall and muscular and an officer-to-be, and me having a weird fascination with pull-ups. We've swam and just hung out at his condo's pool many times.

But go beyond that... and what do we have?

How about a support system?

At first, when I texted him about my relationship woes and troubles, he always ignored them. He would either not respond, or later tell me, "Dude... I don't want to hear about your gay issues!"

My response would be, "I always listen to your girl issues, so could you at least listen to my guy problems? You don't even have to give advice."

It was only fair! He complied with that agreement for a while, until finally he actually said, "OK, why don't I don't tell you any girl stuff at all, and you don't tell me any gay guy stuff!"

That hurt. So I couldn't rely on him to give me a good outsider's point of view when I had relationship woes. I realized maybe our friendship didn't transcend the sexual orientation barrier, which was tragic.

Then recently, I was getting over a really bad couple of weeks where I had been emotionally played. I drunk-texted him rather whinily at 2 am in the morning, something like, "Why doesn't he like me anymore? When he was the one who started this?"

And to my surprise, he texted me back, telling me something like don't be sad, and move on. And word-for-word, quote-unquote, "Just go date someone else."

I was really surprised. And let me tell you, nothing helps you get over heartbreak like your best friend doing a 180 degree spin on his head.

Not only did he absorb the gravity of my emotion, but he actually offered advice!

So... after four years, something finally gave.

Why is he my best friend? He knows how completely and utterly "useless" I am in the armed forces, but doesn't care. ("Hm, why do they still send you on course?") He knows there are better places out there for me. ("Singapore's not open enough...") and of course, he expects me to be his listening ear too. ("I'm gonna get a girl end of this year man hahahaha!")

What more could a guy ask for?