Sometimes I go swimming, and there is this weird old uncle guy who keeps staring at me. He stares at other guys too, and though I feel disturbed by his leering, what I truly feel more is sadness.
I just saw him on the bus a couple of days ago, and we recognized each other. He saw me enter the bus and he watched me pass. Leering, again.
And I just felt sad AND scared.
Fulfillment is important to me.
Love, not just in a partner, but also in a child, a pet. A beautiful thing, a beautiful life.
I was talking to my friend and campmate Melvin the other day, and I was telling him about the plans I have after I ORD. Suffice it to say, there were a lot of plans, some more concrete than others, but all equally achievable.
He was saying something like, "Don't become too focused on your career. That's a trap of people our age (i.e. the 20-somethings.) You have no time for love and soon you'll find yourself alone."
I told him, "if by 35 I still haven't found the love of my life, I'm going to MAKE a love of my life. Get a kid, basically." And teach him how to hate humanity, break out into song randomly, and love life.
Love is a gift, but so is a career. A career is just as important as finding someone, because you can only focus on enjoying yourself and giving yourself to someone else if you are satisfied in your career, and you are financially stable, and you know what you're meant to do in this life.
They say Singapore is a beautiful place, with friendly, gracious people and excellent food and weather.
I can see how Singapore can be beautiful, in a sprawling urbanized sort of way, a la Hong Kong. I can see how the food is excellent, and the weather can be really nice if you're lucky.
What I can't see is how the people are gracious.
Yesterday I was on the train, standing up, just generally feeling bored and hungry. It was a 20-minute ride to Harborfront MRT. So I pulled out a sandwich and took two bites.
In that time it took for 2 bites, a middle-aged man, late 30s, pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of me quickly. He tried to hide it but I confronted him. To cut things short, we had a loud verbal argument in the middle of the train carriage.
He kept insisting I was wrong and asked me if I was local.
I told him I was born in Singapore, and he went, "Well! So you know the rule! Rules are the rules!" and I kept saying "It was two bites, and you just want that photo to go on Stomp because you want the pathetic name and fame that goes with having people talk about you."
Which is true. You know these kinds of people. Looks ratty, scritchily nervous, and can't make a good name for himself outside if he was on his own.
In the end he declared that if I was so in the right, we go up to the train security and settle this. Of course, there IS that big sign on the MRT train that says "No Eating and drinking - Fine $500", so a smart man like myself had to back off.
(Which left a sour taste in my mouth. I hate losing.)
I don't deny that you're not supposed to eat in the train according to Singapore rules, but I find it interesting that I was taking two bites and that constitutes a fine-worthy crime. For information, in New York City subways, there is no such rule. People eat, and I don't see complaints about how New York City is the WORST place in the world!
A side note here: Singapore, for a long time, has had too-extreme, inappropriate punishments. The death penalty for a drug carrier, for example. Caning for things like graffiti. Singapore tries to establish itself as a country comparable to Hong Kong and New York City, with its global arts scene and concerts and architecture, but those are mere economic yardsticks. Morally, it lacks the willingness to forgive that can be found in other countries. Oh and it also lacks...
GRACIOUS PEOPLE.
Put it this way. It was two bites. A sandwich. I could finish the damn thing in ten minutes. Not a McDonald's Big Breakfast. Not a monster sub. Not a drippy-licky ice cream. My mom once told me she popped a Werther's Original into her mouth on the train once, and some woman snapped at her not to eat on the train.
People, please. There is pettiness, and there is pure ridiculousness. Don't you have anything better to do? Don't you have to earn some money, leave a legacy? Why are you going around picking on people and doing these stupid things?
Singaporeans follow the rules too much. "No Eating and Drinking on the train" means "NO EATING AND DRINKING ON THE TRAIN!!!".
"NOT EVEN A SWEET!!!"
No allowances for that, not even for a guy standing to one side, just minding his own business like me. How about if it was an old woman who looks like she was about to faint due to low blood sugar? How about Lee Kuan Yew? How about a high-flying lawyer? How about... a tourist? Since he clearly insinuated that if I wasn't local I could be forgiven because I didn't know the rules.
You'd better not fucking give me double standards. You want to pick on me, you'd better pick on a tourist too. Since the "rules are the rules".
(Tourists all probably know the fine attached to this rule before they step into this country.)
Look, I was just trying to fill my stomach in the void that is travelling time, which anyone knows could be quite boring. In 20 minutes i could finish a sandwich and be full for the next 3 hours.
Time, to me, is so important, a concept you clearly don't grasp if you decided to snap a photo of me instead of doing something more constructive, like thinking up a new savings or investment plan.
And if you decide to be such a model citizen and be so gung-ho about laws and social righteousness, then you'd better fucking hell make sure if a group of drunk Caucasians or rowdy kids are beating up an old cabbie you'd better go UP there and defend the poor guy.
Do you know how many times this has happened? A woman being mistreated by her husband in public. A poor handicapped man being taunted by a group of kids on a walkway. And yet Singaporeans only know how to stand by the sidelines and watch as the drama unfolds. NOT ONE OF THEM will go forward to offer their aid or assistance.
Instead, all they know how to do is, "EH!! NO EATING ON THE TRAIN!!"
The morals in this country are fucking flipped.
People in other countries need to open their eyes. Every time I hear, "Singaporeans are soo gracious and nice!" I think to myself, "You think? You haven't lived here for more than thirty days. If you do, you'll see the truth."
(Isn't it true? Before 2011, most of Singapore had never voted. And though he got it wrong - you CAN chew gum in Singapore - the BRINGING in of the gum in is a hassle, and they'll treat you as though you were about to commit a heinous crime. Have you ever tried to get through Customs with a plastic bag of Wrigley's?)
In New York, if you need help, people will help you. Because that's how New Yorkers are. In Singapore, if you need help, you'd better hope you have money to fork out in exchange for the aid. If not, they're just going to stand by the sidelines and watch you suffer. No matter how many times you call out, they "wouldn't want to get involved".
But remember, folks, NEVER EAT OR DRINK ON THE TRAIN!!!!!! (Not even plain water!)
P.S. I blame this FUCKING WEBSITE CALLED STOMP.
Encourages people to be petty and constantly be on the lookout for others' faults. It puts forth the notion that you can generate buzz and hype by being nitpicky and fast with your camera phone. You wanna be famous? Do it the Kardashian way and make a sex tape. Don't be a jerk.
The website isn't citizen journalism. It's a forum, yes, it's a place for famous bloggers to talk topics, but calling itself a place for citizen-contributed articles is an incredible misnomer. I have yet to see an article on the website that isn't about someone's food looking lousy or rainbows or eating on the train/sleeping in the Reserved seat. Petty like fuck.
P.P.S. You know that story about the poor young guy who didn't offer his seat up to the 63 year old overweight man with "weak knees"? Firstly, be gracious. If you see someone is in need, stand up and let him have it. Make people happy, comfortable. Make their day, not ruin it. Secondly, even if the guy doesn't let you have the seat, must you smack him on the foot and post his picture all over the Internet? Extreme reaction, much? It's all because of STOMP.
GRACE, Singaporeans. Please keep that in mind as you go about your daily routine today.
DEFINITION: Couples Envy, noun, an illness where you look at the successful, loving couples around you and feel a pang of jealousy in your gut and a sudden need to alleviate it by kissing the guy/girl nearest to you.
After a long time away, Couples Envy finally returned last night in full force at the club!
(But no, I did not kiss anyone near me. First of all I was drunk from Bluespin, which inhibits me actually, and Issac - if ur reading this - do not drink it ANYMORE EVER AGAIN. And secondly I have self-restraint and dignity.)
But last night's Couples Envy was way worse, 'cos Melvin, who used to be my other Swingin' Single Sister (SSS), is now (semi-)attached!
DEFINITION: Swingin' Single Sister, or SSS, noun, a friend who is supposed to be perennially-unattached, a person whom you can bitch with regarding all those couples openly displaying their affections everywhere.
But yesterday! Fuck, man, Melvin joined the dark side! He flipped his alliance! He became a member of that group I mock so openly and cruelly! Him and his squeeze were mooching it up at May Wong's Cafe, and in fact, so were Issac and Marco.
Each couple took up one of those big throne chairs to make out, while I, the wondrous fifth wheel, had to proclaim, "I have a throne chair to myself, so both of you lovey-dovey couples can SUCK IT!" And then I proceeded to flip them all off.
So much for dignity.
It was deja vu all over again, because this happened already ONCE before. Me, the only single person left in the room. I was like Jessica Biel in Valentine's Day.
So of course I had another bout of Couples' Envy, besides the bout of gastric flu I already had going.
Only this time it was worse, because my SSS, Melvin, HAD TURNED ON ME!! Betrayed the alliance. Destroyed the faith the covenant placed in him. Became untrustworthy. I almost put a fatwa on his head right there and then.
Of course I'm happy for him, but I just can't help but to feel jealous and envious. It's natural I think, because it feels as though I'm the last one on the shelf.
(At 19?! What a weirdo, I know, for thinking that.)
But of course, I'm not going to rush things. The Powers That Be have a plan for me, and nature will take its course.
Right now, my greatest concern is to recover from this nasty virus so I can be part of PA Paddle Championships next weekend! On top of that, my cousin's wedding is on Saturday! AS WELL AS Timbre Rock & Roots, featuring John Legend and Imogen Heap! I won free tickets from 987fm!
Just now I was on the bus, and I heard a young kid and his father talking in the seats behind me.
Well, not so much talking as it was... arguing. And then again not so much arguing as it was the father trying to placate a whiny secondary school kid.
It went something like this:
Dad: "Take this. It'll stop your cough."
Kid: "I doen waannnn..."
Dad: "Just take this. You won't cough so much."
Kid: "I doen liiiiike...."
After a while -
Dad: "Here. Bread."
Kid: "I doen waaannnn..."
Dad: "Eat this. You haven't finished your breakfast."
Kid: "Cannot finish before we reach school waaannnn..."
Dad: "You will go hungry."
Kid: "I eat in school laaaah..."
And then, the kicker -
Dad: "EH! What happened to your project?"
Kid: "I left at home laaah..."
Dad: "Why? I told you to check."
Kid: "I told the maid to put it inside, and she didennnnn..."
I was seriously annoyed by the kid. I cannot stand a whiny voice. I mean, if you want to whine, at least do it in short syllables, not dragging out a damn word for ten seconds.
And the maid thing just pissed me off.
Hello? How old are you?
Firstly, how difficult can it be to put a project into your bag and take it to school? Secondly, if you lose it/didn't bring it, at least accept the responsibility. Did your maid do your schoolwork for you too? How about your exams?
And the father!
Firstly, why in the world are you sending your kid to school? Can't your kid go to school by himself? It's not like the dad was driving the kid to school - they were BOTH taking the bus! Added trouble for you AND the son isn't exactly saving travelling time either! Secondly, why do you keep forcing the kid? It's clear he doesn't want anything to do with your suggestions, so forcing him is just pain for you, the kid, and the commuters around you.
In the end I just changed seat.
Such mollycoddling is just gross.
This comes amid the hoo hah about the SAF soldier letting his maid carry his field pack. Now I don't think I should comment on that - because I'm still in the army - but the standard of SAF soldiers is besides the point.
The point is, no one should carry your burden for you.
It's your field pack, you were assigned to it, so carry it. It's your army commitment, so you either see it all the way through, or find your own way to survive. And whatever happens, u take responsibility for it. Be it regret or joy, or a good mixture of both... it's all yours.
It's the reason I tend to not like sharing emotional stuff with my friends and family. For those people who have known me for some time, I am always the joker. I am the Kathy Griffin, the Margaret Cho, the occasionally vulgar, sometimes-not-funny-but-insulting nonsensical guy, the one you wouldn't like to hang out with for too long but is good in small doses.
You don't see me as the angry one, the one with hatred for general humanity and its prejudices, the one who is confused, the one who is sad, the one who disguises his sadness with poorly-constructed humor.
That's because I don't tell anyone about my sadness.
And of course, because I'm not that kind of a person... I won't go into details. :)
All I'm saying is, you were born alone, and you die alone. Unless you're one half of a Siamese twin.
So you have to be independent! Independence is the one quality that I believe will serve you well. And independence, incidentally, isn't something that you learn from going through school or army. Irene Ang and Steve Jobs never completed university. Most of the girls in Singapore never went through army.
You learn independence by seeing the alternative - the What If.
What if your parents suddenly die? What if all your assets fall drastically in value the next day? What if your parents throw you out? What if one day everyone finds you annoying and hates your jokes - if they haven't already? Who do you rely on?
You might rely on your parent's money, but if given a choice, would you take their money without qualms, or would you consistently think of ways to pay them back?
No one should carry the burden for you. It's easy to let someone else carry, because, after all, they're THERE. But what if one day they are not?
As promised, photos of me volunteering at Red Cross!
The wonderful 7 values of the Red Cross, displayed prominently on the board.
Now, the wonderful thing about these core values unlike many others is that they truly apply to the betterment and improvement of humanity. Especially "universality", which reminds us that we are all human, and in times like the many disasters we have seen across the world - we all need to stand as one and support/help each other.
This is the Red Cross donation room. Very cosy, very comfortable, and there was food for the volunteers. This is definitely a charitable organization.
We see Siew Jin, the finance manager in the blue striped shirt, counting cash with Kyle, in the pure black shirt.
May and me. Her mother and sisters all came down to volunteer! Girl power!
May's mother, Agnes, and me. In a strange coincidence - her job involves her collating the surveys NSFs input into the card scanner at the cookhouse! So everytime you judge the cookhouse food... she judges you! Haha.
In another of God's/Powers That Be's little reminders that I am still in the army, this here is Siew Jin, the finance manager tabulating all donations - and she is a retired 1WO!
OMGZZ.
And last week I remember one of the staff there was a retired COLONEL, who asked me some stuff about my camp and procedures, etc. I really didn't tell him anything... cos IT'S SATURDAY! Let me have this one day away from the army! -.-
The very pretty Yun En and me.
So yesterday, there was no Mari, no Wayne, no Ivy... but even if they came later I wouldn't know, because I left at 3.
To watch one of the most epic movies ever made: Sucker Punch.
Really, my belief is that Zack Snyder studied everything that made past films big hits, took a little from each, and smooshed them together into one mega monster film.
Let's do the count:
1) Hot girls
2) Girls in costumes
3) Guns
4) Knives
5) Robots
6) Zombies
7) War
8) Dragons
9) Flying Machines
10) Asylums
11) Dancing
12) Burlesque Theater
13) Singing
14) Dream-in-a-dream
15) Item questing
16) Extended fight sequences
17) Bombs
18) Twist endings
And when they were done, he probably went, "Hmm... What should I call this movie? Oh I know... something totally irrelevant! SUCKER PUNCH!"
Yes. Indeed.
But it is really a fantastic movie otherwise. Not the most thought-provoking - no psycho ballerinas here - but it will definitely entertain and keep you happy for 2 hours. Oh and I'm definitely buying the Sucker Punch video game when it comes out.
Last thing that made Saturday awesome: I GOT HEADSHOTS!
I actually needed one for my resume and portfolio, but now I have three fantastic ones!! Thanks to CWJ Photography!
Yep! These are good times! The weekend passes way too fast when we're having so much fun!
Have a good week ahead everybody! Mine will be incredibly packed...
Another earthquake measuring 6.8 on the Richter scale has hit Myanmar.
This just a few DAYS - within the same month - from the earthquake that hit Eastern Japan, and only a few WEEKS from the Christchurch Earthquake.
And WHEN in the world has Myanmar ever had an earthquake?
I believe in the end of the world, but to set it to Dec 2012 was a little too specific for me. I also felt that there should be a lot of omens and disasters that happen to lead up to it, a sort of natural disaster pile up that would culminate in the Earth's ruin in 2012.
Now I feel that it may be possible, because of all these disasters.
Yesterday I spent the entire day volunteering at Red Cross Society Singapore, for Japan Earthquake relief efforts. Red Cross Society Singapore is accepting cash donations for Japanese relief aid - NOT donations in kind - all this week and throughout the next month.
The reason why they can't accept donations in kind is because there are no logistics available for RC Singapore to collate goods from various sources. It takes a lot of time to sort and organize items, and sometimes people donate really useless things like toys and books.
It's almost as if it's spring cleaning, and Singaporeans want to get rid of old things in their house under the pretense of "doing a good deed." -.-
It was a wonderful time I had volunteering, and if there was EVER a time that I felt Singaporeans were charitable and kind... it was yesterday.
Examples:
Two mothers came in, on separate occasions, with autistic kids to donate.
Two Bangladeshi workers came in to donate a couple of hundred dollars each.
An entire Mandarin-speaking family came in with an envelope and dropped off close to three thousand dollars worth of money collected from various sources.
A young man donated, and then wanted a donation box to be placed outside his shop.
A China-native came in and dropped off fifty dollars but did not want to be credited despite our insistence due to audit purposes.
A young 4 year-old was led in by her father, clutching a piggy bank, and right in front of us, she emptied its contents to donate to the relief fund.
I was really really touched. I think I teared up a little in the 3 o'clock hour, because there was this entire wave of people who dropped off money repeatedly, and as I thanked them most of them said, "Why are you thanking me? This is what we should be doing."
(Btw, I visited Japan in 2007 during a school trip and it was honestly one of the best trips I have ever had. I agree with Gwen Stefani that Harajuku is one of the most memorable places I have ever visited. So of course I had to volunteer, and I donated money as well.)
I met a couple of great, wonderful people too. No photos here to go up with them - YET - but there was Mari, a wonderful Japanese young woman who was beautiful and articulate. She was truly a global citizen, having had studied in Pennsylvania, parts of Europe and was now working in Singapore. Thankfully her family was on the West Coast of Japan and hence was not hit.
There was Ivy, a Singaporean who, like me, stayed on past her shift. She was funny, cheerful, and she was in the midst of learning Japanese because she planned to visit in December. She had to put her plans on hold... but she swears she will go back very soon someday to help in reconstruction efforts, something I wish to do as well.
There was Wayne, a really great, tough, mature guy whom I honestly liked the first minute I saw him. If I had an older brother I would have wanted it to be Wayne.
OK, funny story about Wayne and me...
Wayne came on the second shift, the shift I stayed on for despite not having signed up for it. When the second shift rolled around, I was supposed to roughly teach people what to do since I had already a few hours' experience to my credit.
This incredibly buffed, tanned guy, wearing a tight muscle polo tee-shirt came in, talking to another buffed, tanned guy, in a long-sleeved shirt, and when I was told they called in to volunteer together, I thought to myself, "Oh, they're definitely gay."
So when Wayne, in his polo tee, showing off his biceps, and his companion came around to me, the first thing I asked him was, "So how long have you two been together?"
He looked at me with a puzzled expression.
"Together?" He asked. "With who?"
The first moment he spoke I thought to myself, Oh shit. He had none of the usual swish a "Muscle Mary" had when talking.
Definition!
Muscle Mary, noun: a really muscular, buffed gay guy who spends countless hours working out in the gym to achieve a phenomenal physique, but when he opens his mouth the voice of a diva comes out. Usually dances with all the manliness of Kylie Minogue.
I tried saving my ass. "Oh, you mean you aren't...?"
His companion, T, looked at Wayne and burst out laughing. "Oh, no! Definitely not, dear!"
OK, so Wayne wasn't gay. Can't say the same about T, though.
They turned out to be only colleagues and they had decided to volunteer together two days before. The final nail in the coffin?
During a break, I overheard Wayne telling T, "Oh, man. I miss soccer so much. I used to be a damn good striker in JC, then I got an injury and my coach shifted me to defender."
Soccer? Gay, schmay.
So by the end of the whole day, I was really impressed with the inner beauty of Singaporeans.
But as I was going home, as if to tell me "Don't get your hopes up", God sent me a little incident.
As I was crossing the road, I heard a shout. Two Singaporean drivers, each in their own wonderfully expensive and well-maintained car, had their windows rolled down and was having a shouting match. I have no idea what they were shouting over - what can you shout over in the middle of the road anyway? - but there were vulgarities thrown about, middle fingers, angry expressions, and at one point in time one driver's friend, who was in the backseat, rolled down HER window to join in the verbal catfight.
Oh God, you are ever the realist.
Anyway, I took two photos with the volunteer organizer Ms Faridah and another Japanese volunteer, Ms Soroyo. When I get them I'll post them up!
Please do come down and help if you can! Next week's slots are all full but you can call now to reserve a place for next NEXT week!
Below: a video from CNN to show just how important our support and help is at this crucial point in time for Japanese citizens!
In the afternoon I went to my usual orthodontist/dentist to get my braces removed. Now, for a long time, I suspected my orthodontist, let's call him Doc, was gay. First of all, everytime I went, he would stroke my forearms in a... weird way. And he would ask things like, "After I take the braces off, let's still remain friends, okay?"
OK, but I never thought myself hot enough to be an object of his desire... just maybe that he was touchy-feely or something. Today, however, it all came to light.
Today I arrived HALF AN HOUR LATE because I booked out late.
When I entered the room, he told me, "Why today you so late? Later my partner upset that we're not eating dinner together."
I responded, "Sorry sorry, I booked out late. Got a lot of things to do."
Doc: "You care about your camp, don't care about me?"
Me: "Erm... no."
I sat in the chair, and he began to do his braces-removal procedure.
(I'm gonna skip all the boring dentistry parts, and get to the parts that made me incredibly uncomfortable.)
It started out innocuously enough:
Doc: "So do you have a girlfriend?"
Me: "No."
Doc: "Are you single?"
Me: "Yes."
Doc: "How many dates have u had?"
Me: *BEEP*
Doc: "So many? Oh no, I mean exes."
Me: *BEEP*
Doc: "Oh... Do you break hearts, or does your heart get broken?"
Me: "My heart gets broken all the time."
Doc: "I see... Are they older than you?"
Pause. What is he getting at? I'm not that flaming enough for it to be clear.
Me: "Yeah."
Doc: "All of them?"
Me: "Mm."
Pause.
Doc: "I see... So do you go clubbing?"
Me: "Yeah."
Doc: "Which clubs?"
Me: "Zirca."
Doc: "On Sunday night?"
Uh oh, he's testing the waters. Should I?
Me: "I guess."
Doc: "Anywhere else?"
Me: "Errr..."
Ah, what the fuck. How much worse can it get? (NEVER think that.)
Me: "Play."
Doc: "Ah! Play, yes, Play. How old is the oldest guy you've been with?"
Me: *BEEP*
Doc: "Oh, I see. So age is no issue for you?"
Me: "I guess not."
Doc: "What do you look for in a guy?"
Me: "Someone who loves spending time outdoors, loves sports, kind, funny."
Doc: "I see. Do you play tennis?"
Me: "I watch tennis, but I'm terrible at it. My best friend always beats me."
Doc: "Would a 40-year-old be too old for you?"
Me: "Um. We'd have to find something in common first."
Doc: "Do you like oral?"
(WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Me: "Um. Yes?"
Doc: "Giving or taking?"
Me: "Uh..."
Doc: "Are you No. 1 or No. 2?"
Me: "WHAT?!"
Doc: "Top or bottom?"
Me: *BEEP*
Doc: "Orh I see, I see... Yeah I guessed as much."
(Is it THAT obvious?)
Doc: "Do you want to go out and have dinner with me sometime?"
Me: (thinking 'Oh fuck') "I thought you had a partner?"
Doc: "No, I was lying to you just to make you feel guilty."
Me: "Right. When was your last relationship?"
Doc: "Oh. A long time ago. My heart got broken too. A guy your age lah."
Me: "19?"
Doc: "No. 29."
Me: "That's not my age."
Doc: "He bullied me. By the way, do you know about Grindr?"
Me: "Yeah. I don't use it."
Doc: "Why not? Where do you go to meet guys?"
Me: "Friends of friends of friends. It's all connected."
Doc: "I see, I see. Are you looking for a boyfriend?"
Now, I do suffer from Couples Envy once in a while, but I'm not desperate.
Me: "I don't think this would work."
Doc: (crestfallen) "Oh..."
Me: "Yes." (patting his hand) "You'll find love someday."
Doc: "Well, you have my number. If you're ever around this area, can give me a call, and I'll buy you coffee or lunch."
Me: "It's okay."
When did I start giving out such good faith? I'm still jaded ol' me.
Now take note, all this was happening AS HE WAS CLIPPING MY BRACES AWAY. He was standing over me, just working on my teeth, and I gave short responses because 1) I couldn't talk and 2) I didn't WANT to talk.
It was incredibly awkward, as you can see, and I don't know if I can go back there in a few months' time and not feel uncomfortable...
Yesterday I was at another camp for a course, and it was only during lunchtime that I remembered my best friend was actually posted in that camp!
My best friend is straight, so it's a funny dynamic we have. Most of the gay people I know have only best friends who are gay, and their circle of friends tends to also be exclusively AJ.
Of course it's expected, because nothing bonds two people more than a common trait like sexual orientation.
But why make things so exclusive?
Can't a straight guy be best friends with a gay guy?
First of all, I have to admit I have some very un-AJ tastes. Sure, I love Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and don't get me started on the Wonder Girl Taylor Swift, but my favorite band in the world is Angels and Airwaves.
I love their fantastic intros, space-inspired atmospherics, experimental style and varied themes. What's more, lead singer Tom DeLonge was formerly (presently?) of another fantastic band Blink 182, and their current bassist Matt Wachter was also formerly from the great great 30stm.
My best friend loves AvA too, and we both attended their first concert in Singapore in 2008.
On top of that, we share a devotion to FRIENDS, and it's funny how we used to quote lines back and forth at each other at rapid speed. I love Phoebe most, while he loves Chandler.
That's not the only TV show we love... SURVIVOR is another big part of our shared entertainment interests. He thinks Russell Hantz's the best, I think Rob Mariano was a hoot back in Survivor: Heroes vs Villains. What a coincidence season 22 features both of them in opposing tribes.
We had both joined canoeing back in our junior year, and we both share a love for fitness and health, what with him being all tall and muscular and an officer-to-be, and me having a weird fascination with pull-ups. We've swam and just hung out at his condo's pool many times.
But go beyond that... and what do we have?
How about a support system?
At first, when I texted him about my relationship woes and troubles, he always ignored them. He would either not respond, or later tell me, "Dude... I don't want to hear about your gay issues!"
My response would be, "I always listen to your girl issues, so could you at least listen to my guy problems? You don't even have to give advice."
It was only fair! He complied with that agreement for a while, until finally he actually said, "OK, why don't I don't tell you any girl stuff at all, and you don't tell me any gay guy stuff!"
That hurt. So I couldn't rely on him to give me a good outsider's point of view when I had relationship woes. I realized maybe our friendship didn't transcend the sexual orientation barrier, which was tragic.
Then recently, I was getting over a really bad couple of weeks where I had been emotionally played. I drunk-texted him rather whinily at 2 am in the morning, something like, "Why doesn't he like me anymore? When he was the one who started this?"
And to my surprise, he texted me back, telling me something like don't be sad, and move on. And word-for-word, quote-unquote, "Just go date someone else."
I was really surprised. And let me tell you, nothing helps you get over heartbreak like your best friend doing a 180 degree spin on his head.
Not only did he absorb the gravity of my emotion, but he actually offered advice!
So... after four years, something finally gave.
Why is he my best friend? He knows how completely and utterly "useless" I am in the armed forces, but doesn't care. ("Hm, why do they still send you on course?") He knows there are better places out there for me. ("Singapore's not open enough...") and of course, he expects me to be his listening ear too. ("I'm gonna get a girl end of this year man hahahaha!")
Recently, I've completed some books and articles on my reading list and started on more... My list seems to be growing, not shrinking. (But I won't complain because reading is the greatest joy in life!)
And I've learned a couple of lessons from them:
1) Steve Dublanica's Waiter Rant
What a fantastic read. Introspective, witty, and juicy, this book is a must read. The Waiter dishes on his experiences working in The Bistro, an upscale and chic restaurant somewhere in New York.
After reading it, I learn to never take my talents for granted, and to be unafraid of failure and falling. If anything, failure will train my resilience and hone my talent.
2) Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
Of course I had to read this. One of the most talked-about books in recent memory, Battle Hymn is an amazing memoir chronicling a self-proclaimed "Chinese mother's" attempts in raising her daughters to be stereotypically, the best in everything.
But there is a lesson to be learned: It is important that you work hard at what you love most, achieving a good balance between the Asian and Western raising styles, because a gift will waste away to nothing if no effort is put in to take it to the top.
Did you know she made it to the semi-finals of an IBM scholarship science fair? Did you know she was a brilliant student of psychology and neuroscience in an Ivy League? And how about the kicker: If she had an upcoming appearance on Letterman scheduled, she would submit her paper early!
Lesson here: Never procrastinate, and always submit work early. Don't make excuses for yourself, your failures, and manage your time well. The great people of our generation have common traits that have led to their successes, like a great work ethic.
Oh, and also, it doesn't matter if you come from an artistic, academic or scientific background... performing and acting and the Screen accepts all. Encouraging thought!
I have honestly set a record for being the most jaded person at the tender but not so young age of 19.
The subject?
Love.
Yes, I've been keeping a lot of emotions bottled up in me for a long time regarding this touchy, abstract subject many a Lady Gaga/Madonna/Cher have written about, and I think it's time for a little therapy.
How is it possible to be jaded about love at 19?
I have my ways.
2011 is here, and it's time for a new change, a new start to make life interesting. Here's hoping this year will prove me wrong, that love really is forever, and that, well, there IS life after love.
