Independence

Just now I was on the bus, and I heard a young kid and his father talking in the seats behind me.

Well, not so much talking as it was... arguing. And then again not so much arguing as it was the father trying to placate a whiny secondary school kid.

It went something like this:

Dad: "Take this. It'll stop your cough."

Kid: "I doen waannnn..."

Dad: "Just take this. You won't cough so much."

Kid: "I doen liiiiike...."

After a while -

Dad: "Here. Bread."

Kid: "I doen waaannnn..."

Dad: "Eat this. You haven't finished your breakfast."

Kid: "Cannot finish before we reach school waaannnn..."

Dad: "You will go hungry."

Kid: "I eat in school laaaah..."

And then, the kicker -

Dad: "EH! What happened to your project?"

Kid: "I left at home laaah..."

Dad: "Why? I told you to check."

Kid: "I told the maid to put it inside, and she didennnnn..."

I was seriously annoyed by the kid. I cannot stand a whiny voice. I mean, if you want to whine, at least do it in short syllables, not dragging out a damn word for ten seconds.

And the maid thing just pissed me off.

Hello? How old are you?

Firstly, how difficult can it be to put a project into your bag and take it to school? Secondly, if you lose it/didn't bring it, at least accept the responsibility. Did your maid do your schoolwork for you too? How about your exams?

And the father!

Firstly, why in the world are you sending your kid to school? Can't your kid go to school by himself? It's not like the dad was driving the kid to school - they were BOTH taking the bus! Added trouble for you AND the son isn't exactly saving travelling time either! Secondly, why do you keep forcing the kid? It's clear he doesn't want anything to do with your suggestions, so forcing him is just pain for you, the kid, and the commuters around you.

In the end I just changed seat.

Such mollycoddling is just gross.

This comes amid the hoo hah about the SAF soldier letting his maid carry his field pack. Now I don't think I should comment on that - because I'm still in the army - but the standard of SAF soldiers is besides the point.

The point is, no one should carry your burden for you.

It's your field pack, you were assigned to it, so carry it. It's your army commitment, so you either see it all the way through, or find your own way to survive. And whatever happens, u take responsibility for it. Be it regret or joy, or a good mixture of both... it's all yours.

It's the reason I tend to not like sharing emotional stuff with my friends and family. For those people who have known me for some time, I am always the joker. I am the Kathy Griffin, the Margaret Cho, the occasionally vulgar, sometimes-not-funny-but-insulting nonsensical guy, the one you wouldn't like to hang out with for too long but is good in small doses.

You don't see me as the angry one, the one with hatred for general humanity and its prejudices, the one who is confused, the one who is sad, the one who disguises his sadness with poorly-constructed humor.

That's because I don't tell anyone about my sadness.

And of course, because I'm not that kind of a person... I won't go into details. :)

All I'm saying is, you were born alone, and you die alone. Unless you're one half of a Siamese twin.

So you have to be independent! Independence is the one quality that I believe will serve you well. And independence, incidentally, isn't something that you learn from going through school or army. Irene Ang and Steve Jobs never completed university. Most of the girls in Singapore never went through army.

You learn independence by seeing the alternative - the What If.

What if your parents suddenly die? What if all your assets fall drastically in value the next day? What if your parents throw you out? What if one day everyone finds you annoying and hates your jokes - if they haven't already? Who do you rely on?

You might rely on your parent's money, but if given a choice, would you take their money without qualms, or would you consistently think of ways to pay them back?

No one should carry the burden for you. It's easy to let someone else carry, because, after all, they're THERE. But what if one day they are not?

What then?

Fun Saturday

As promised, photos of me volunteering at Red Cross!

The wonderful 7 values of the Red Cross, displayed prominently on the board.

Now, the wonderful thing about these core values unlike many others is that they truly apply to the betterment and improvement of humanity. Especially "universality", which reminds us that we are all human, and in times like the many disasters we have seen across the world - we all need to stand as one and support/help each other.

This is the Red Cross donation room. Very cosy, very comfortable, and there was food for the volunteers. This is definitely a charitable organization.

We see Siew Jin, the finance manager in the blue striped shirt, counting cash with Kyle, in the pure black shirt.

May and me. Her mother and sisters all came down to volunteer! Girl power!

May's mother, Agnes, and me. In a strange coincidence - her job involves her collating the surveys NSFs input into the card scanner at the cookhouse! So everytime you judge the cookhouse food... she judges you! Haha.

In another of God's/Powers That Be's little reminders that I am still in the army, this here is Siew Jin, the finance manager tabulating all donations - and she is a retired 1WO!

OMGZZ.

And last week I remember one of the staff there was a retired COLONEL, who asked me some stuff about my camp and procedures, etc. I really didn't tell him anything... cos IT'S SATURDAY! Let me have this one day away from the army! -.-

The very pretty Yun En and me.

So yesterday, there was no Mari, no Wayne, no Ivy... but even if they came later I wouldn't know, because I left at 3.

To watch one of the most epic movies ever made: Sucker Punch.

Really, my belief is that Zack Snyder studied everything that made past films big hits, took a little from each, and smooshed them together into one mega monster film.

Let's do the count:

1) Hot girls

2) Girls in costumes

3) Guns

4) Knives

5) Robots

6) Zombies

7) War

8) Dragons

9) Flying Machines

10) Asylums

11) Dancing

12) Burlesque Theater

13) Singing

14) Dream-in-a-dream

15) Item questing

16) Extended fight sequences

17) Bombs

18) Twist endings

And when they were done, he probably went, "Hmm... What should I call this movie? Oh I know... something totally irrelevant! SUCKER PUNCH!"

Yes. Indeed.

But it is really a fantastic movie otherwise. Not the most thought-provoking - no psycho ballerinas here - but it will definitely entertain and keep you happy for 2 hours. Oh and I'm definitely buying the Sucker Punch video game when it comes out.

Last thing that made Saturday awesome: I GOT HEADSHOTS!

I actually needed one for my resume and portfolio, but now I have three fantastic ones!! Thanks to CWJ Photography!

Yep! These are good times! The weekend passes way too fast when we're having so much fun!

Have a good week ahead everybody! Mine will be incredibly packed...

Earthquake?

Another earthquake measuring 6.8 on the Richter scale has hit Myanmar.

This just a few DAYS - within the same month - from the earthquake that hit Eastern Japan, and only a few WEEKS from the Christchurch Earthquake.

And WHEN in the world has Myanmar ever had an earthquake?

I believe in the end of the world, but to set it to Dec 2012 was a little too specific for me. I also felt that there should be a lot of omens and disasters that happen to lead up to it, a sort of natural disaster pile up that would culminate in the Earth's ruin in 2012.

Now I feel that it may be possible, because of all these disasters.

Damn...

Volunteering at Red Cross Singapore

Red Cross Singapore official website

Yesterday I spent the entire day volunteering at Red Cross Society Singapore, for Japan Earthquake relief efforts. Red Cross Society Singapore is accepting cash donations for Japanese relief aid - NOT donations in kind - all this week and throughout the next month.

The reason why they can't accept donations in kind is because there are no logistics available for RC Singapore to collate goods from various sources. It takes a lot of time to sort and organize items, and sometimes people donate really useless things like toys and books.

It's almost as if it's spring cleaning, and Singaporeans want to get rid of old things in their house under the pretense of "doing a good deed." -.-

Ways of Donating

It was a wonderful time I had volunteering, and if there was EVER a time that I felt Singaporeans were charitable and kind... it was yesterday.

Examples:

Two mothers came in, on separate occasions, with autistic kids to donate.

Two Bangladeshi workers came in to donate a couple of hundred dollars each.

An entire Mandarin-speaking family came in with an envelope and dropped off close to three thousand dollars worth of money collected from various sources.

A young man donated, and then wanted a donation box to be placed outside his shop.

A China-native came in and dropped off fifty dollars but did not want to be credited despite our insistence due to audit purposes.

A young 4 year-old was led in by her father, clutching a piggy bank, and right in front of us, she emptied its contents to donate to the relief fund.

I was really really touched. I think I teared up a little in the 3 o'clock hour, because there was this entire wave of people who dropped off money repeatedly, and as I thanked them most of them said, "Why are you thanking me? This is what we should be doing."

(Btw, I visited Japan in 2007 during a school trip and it was honestly one of the best trips I have ever had. I agree with Gwen Stefani that Harajuku is one of the most memorable places I have ever visited. So of course I had to volunteer, and I donated money as well.)

I met a couple of great, wonderful people too. No photos here to go up with them - YET - but there was Mari, a wonderful Japanese young woman who was beautiful and articulate. She was truly a global citizen, having had studied in Pennsylvania, parts of Europe and was now working in Singapore. Thankfully her family was on the West Coast of Japan and hence was not hit.

There was Ivy, a Singaporean who, like me, stayed on past her shift. She was funny, cheerful, and she was in the midst of learning Japanese because she planned to visit in December. She had to put her plans on hold... but she swears she will go back very soon someday to help in reconstruction efforts, something I wish to do as well.

There was Wayne, a really great, tough, mature guy whom I honestly liked the first minute I saw him. If I had an older brother I would have wanted it to be Wayne.

OK, funny story about Wayne and me...

Wayne came on the second shift, the shift I stayed on for despite not having signed up for it. When the second shift rolled around, I was supposed to roughly teach people what to do since I had already a few hours' experience to my credit.

This incredibly buffed, tanned guy, wearing a tight muscle polo tee-shirt came in, talking to another buffed, tanned guy, in a long-sleeved shirt, and when I was told they called in to volunteer together, I thought to myself, "Oh, they're definitely gay."

So when Wayne, in his polo tee, showing off his biceps, and his companion came around to me, the first thing I asked him was, "So how long have you two been together?"

He looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Together?" He asked. "With who?"

The first moment he spoke I thought to myself, Oh shit. He had none of the usual swish a "Muscle Mary" had when talking.

Definition!

Muscle Mary, noun: a really muscular, buffed gay guy who spends countless hours working out in the gym to achieve a phenomenal physique, but when he opens his mouth the voice of a diva comes out. Usually dances with all the manliness of Kylie Minogue.

I tried saving my ass. "Oh, you mean you aren't...?"

His companion, T, looked at Wayne and burst out laughing. "Oh, no! Definitely not, dear!"

OK, so Wayne wasn't gay. Can't say the same about T, though.

They turned out to be only colleagues and they had decided to volunteer together two days before. The final nail in the coffin?

During a break, I overheard Wayne telling T, "Oh, man. I miss soccer so much. I used to be a damn good striker in JC, then I got an injury and my coach shifted me to defender."

Soccer? Gay, schmay.

So by the end of the whole day, I was really impressed with the inner beauty of Singaporeans.

But as I was going home, as if to tell me "Don't get your hopes up", God sent me a little incident.

As I was crossing the road, I heard a shout. Two Singaporean drivers, each in their own wonderfully expensive and well-maintained car, had their windows rolled down and was having a shouting match. I have no idea what they were shouting over - what can you shout over in the middle of the road anyway? - but there were vulgarities thrown about, middle fingers, angry expressions, and at one point in time one driver's friend, who was in the backseat, rolled down HER window to join in the verbal catfight.

Oh God, you are ever the realist.

Anyway, I took two photos with the volunteer organizer Ms Faridah and another Japanese volunteer, Ms Soroyo. When I get them I'll post them up!

Please do come down and help if you can! Next week's slots are all full but you can call now to reserve a place for next NEXT week!

Below: a video from CNN to show just how important our support and help is at this crucial point in time for Japanese citizens!

Volunteer with RC

This Place About To Blow! (Part II)

As promised...

These are the photos we took last weekend while clubbing! (thanks to Issac's blog)

Before hitting the clubs, we headed out to one of the Chinese restaurants nearby for some supper for nourishment! They serve fantastic pineapple fried rice and Szechuan soup!

ISSAC and ME!

MELVIN AND ME (God what a camwhore)

IVAN AND ME... I hate my hair here.

The camwhore strikes again.

Why can't he make a proper face?

ISSAC WITH MARCO, his boyfriend

THE POWER OF THREE (will set us free??)

And... WE'RE IN DA CLUB!

CL AND ISSAC

MELVIN, what are you doing?

I love IVAN'S look here ("what shall I do next?")

Party Animals!

I think it was "On The Floor" got me moving...

ISSAC AND ME all tired out!

MARCO, IVAN, ME, and MELVIN

What songs do I love now?

Jennifer Lopez's On The Floor (feat. Pitbull) --> Currently Billboard No. 5 as of 16th Mar!

As well as my resident Party Girl:

Ke$ha's BLOW --> Currently Billboard No. 10 as of 16th Mar!

These are really good videos. J Lo's video is sexy and hot and shows off her chops at AGE 41, while Ke$ha's video is funny and hilarious! (note the mid-video dialogue!)

(Though of course nothing compares to Lady Gaga's epic videos.)

It's another weekend already? Time passes when you're having fun. Have a great weekend everybody!

This Place Is About to Blow!

Yesterday night/this morning was one of the BEST nights of clubbing I've had!!

In the words of Ke$ha, the clubs were definitely about to blow! It seemed like almost EVERYONE came out (pun 100% intended) to have some fun!

First of all, the music was ROCKING. I'm not one to praise people easily but DJ Andrew's music was ridiculously good last night.

It was one good song after another, Ke$ha after J. Lo after David Guetta after Lady Gaga after Madonna after LMFAO. Not only that, but the structure was well-constructed, and for once I didn't have to hear the terrible mid-song rappers.

Yes, one of my gripes: Rappers, just because you can, doesn't mean you have to insert yourself into every song that has a pre-final-chorus bridge.

Case in point: Kanye West in Katy Perry's "E.T.", random rapper whom I don't know in Britney's "Hold It Against Me" and also Kanye West in 30stm's "Hurricane" (this guy is everywhere!). I mean, the original was already good enough! Plus it's not as if you were invited to join in on the original CD cut, like Snoop Dogg on "California Gurls" and Ludacris on "Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)".

It's as if you just came in after the release, thought it would be a good idea to boost your profile, and dropped a few random verses that absolutely ruin the flow of the song.

So thankfully, yesterday none of that was played.

Secondly, the crowd was fantastic!

I met a ton of new people last night - and I will apologize because half of your names have already left me when I woke up just now - which I will definitely say Hi to if I see you again because I'm MUCH better with faces. A shoutout to Butterfly, who was completely un-intimidated by me. She danced brilliantly!

Yes, there was a LOT of dancing going down. There were these two really extravagant, out there club dancers on the stage, and I would daresay I matched up with them! It was really fun and exciting.

Then I met the old crowd, people I've gotten to know over the recent months, who I have come to greatly appreciate the company of. A big shoutout goes out to B, whom I was afraid to inconvenience but had little choice - SORRY! - and whom I see has found a boyfriend at last! Congratulations!

OK, words can't fully describe how fun it was. All I can say is, I'm starting to see how Ke$ha loves "the parties, the disasters" and how every night, she is "down to go out", "waking up on a different couch... till the sun's coming up."

It's one of my favorite Ke$ha songs: "Crazy Beautiful Life" and it really does describe a great, young, uninhibited lifestyle without any of the booze and drugs she references in her previous songs!

Take a listen and I dare you to not fall in love with it!

Crazy beautiful life

This MP3 was found at Dilandau MP3

I'll post up photos once Issac uploads them onto his comp!

For now... back to doing more important stuff! Have a great week ahead everyone!

How Quickly It Changes

DISCLAIMER: THIS HAPPENED IN END-JAN/START-FEB.

Week Zero:

1. East Coast Park

Didn't like him too much. Found him a bit weird.

Week One:

1. Chases me

2. Skype

3. Famous Beancurd Dessert

4. Angry Birds

Week Two:

1. Birthday Party

2. Getting books

3. Talking about life and how scary things can get.

4. Starts to like him.

Week Three:

1. Movie with two other people.

2. He asks me a crucial question I find weird.

3. Skype - but significantly lesser.

4. I really start to like him.

Week Four:

1. Falling for someone else.

2. Telling me how you fell for someone else.

3. Starts to ignore my texts and calls, and texts me less.

Week Five:

1. Un-friended me on FB.

2. Ignores me in person.

3. Never replies my texts.

4. Makes me sad, sad, sad.

And I see him every week in clubs.

I just wish he would talk to me. I keep telling him how sorry I am, that that's just the way I am, that's the way I talk, and touch him...

But does he care?

Guess I shouldn't worry about him reading this blog, then.

I'm like Taylor Swift, or Meredith Grey. If you treat me right, I won't say anything.

The Most Awkward Dental Appointment EVER

In the afternoon I went to my usual orthodontist/dentist to get my braces removed. Now, for a long time, I suspected my orthodontist, let's call him Doc, was gay. First of all, everytime I went, he would stroke my forearms in a... weird way. And he would ask things like, "After I take the braces off, let's still remain friends, okay?"

OK, but I never thought myself hot enough to be an object of his desire... just maybe that he was touchy-feely or something. Today, however, it all came to light.

Today I arrived HALF AN HOUR LATE because I booked out late.

When I entered the room, he told me, "Why today you so late? Later my partner upset that we're not eating dinner together."

I responded, "Sorry sorry, I booked out late. Got a lot of things to do."

Doc: "You care about your camp, don't care about me?"

Me: "Erm... no."

I sat in the chair, and he began to do his braces-removal procedure.

(I'm gonna skip all the boring dentistry parts, and get to the parts that made me incredibly uncomfortable.)

It started out innocuously enough:

Doc: "So do you have a girlfriend?"

Me: "No."

Doc: "Are you single?"

Me: "Yes."

Doc: "How many dates have u had?"

Me: *BEEP*

Doc: "So many? Oh no, I mean exes."

Me: *BEEP*

Doc: "Oh... Do you break hearts, or does your heart get broken?"

Me: "My heart gets broken all the time."

Doc: "I see... Are they older than you?"

Pause. What is he getting at? I'm not that flaming enough for it to be clear.

Me: "Yeah."

Doc: "All of them?"

Me: "Mm."

Pause.

Doc: "I see... So do you go clubbing?"

Me: "Yeah."

Doc: "Which clubs?"

Me: "Zirca."

Doc: "On Sunday night?"

Uh oh, he's testing the waters. Should I?

Me: "I guess."

Doc: "Anywhere else?"

Me: "Errr..."

Ah, what the fuck. How much worse can it get? (NEVER think that.)

Me: "Play."

Doc: "Ah! Play, yes, Play. How old is the oldest guy you've been with?"

Me: *BEEP*

Doc: "Oh, I see. So age is no issue for you?"

Me: "I guess not."

Doc: "What do you look for in a guy?"

Me: "Someone who loves spending time outdoors, loves sports, kind, funny."

Doc: "I see. Do you play tennis?"

Me: "I watch tennis, but I'm terrible at it. My best friend always beats me."

Doc: "Would a 40-year-old be too old for you?"

Me: "Um. We'd have to find something in common first."

Doc: "Do you like oral?"

(WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Me: "Um. Yes?"

Doc: "Giving or taking?"

Me: "Uh..."

Doc: "Are you No. 1 or No. 2?"

Me: "WHAT?!"

Doc: "Top or bottom?"

Me: *BEEP*

Doc: "Orh I see, I see... Yeah I guessed as much."

(Is it THAT obvious?)

Doc: "Do you want to go out and have dinner with me sometime?"

Me: (thinking 'Oh fuck') "I thought you had a partner?"

Doc: "No, I was lying to you just to make you feel guilty."

Me: "Right. When was your last relationship?"

Doc: "Oh. A long time ago. My heart got broken too. A guy your age lah."

Me: "19?"

Doc: "No. 29."

Me: "That's not my age."

Doc: "He bullied me. By the way, do you know about Grindr?"

Me: "Yeah. I don't use it."

Doc: "Why not? Where do you go to meet guys?"

Me: "Friends of friends of friends. It's all connected."

Doc: "I see, I see. Are you looking for a boyfriend?"

Now, I do suffer from Couples Envy once in a while, but I'm not desperate.

Me: "I don't think this would work."

Doc: (crestfallen) "Oh..."

Me: "Yes." (patting his hand) "You'll find love someday."

Doc: "Well, you have my number. If you're ever around this area, can give me a call, and I'll buy you coffee or lunch."

Me: "It's okay."

When did I start giving out such good faith? I'm still jaded ol' me.

Now take note, all this was happening AS HE WAS CLIPPING MY BRACES AWAY. He was standing over me, just working on my teeth, and I gave short responses because 1) I couldn't talk and 2) I didn't WANT to talk.

It was incredibly awkward, as you can see, and I don't know if I can go back there in a few months' time and not feel uncomfortable...

Spell It Out For Me

Yesterday night was so much fun!!!

Went out clubbing again, and for a change this time around, I DIDN'T waste myself! For the past two weeks, I was bouncing around, talking to random people, drinking abundantly, and before the night was over I would be more wasted than Lady Gaga's talent in Singapore.

But yesterday I regulated my drinking. No dinner drinks, no pre-clubbing warm-up shots, only an apple cider, glass of white wine and store-bought LIT before entering the club, and only a cranberry rum after I entered! Woohoo.

As a result, yesterday I was very lucid. Still, because the music was extremely good - David Guetta and J.Lo back to back! - I managed to dance up a storm with my campmate/fellow clubber friend M. Also M's self-proclaimed fag hag friends were there as well, and it was fun hearing them dish on the gay guys and lesbian fights taking place around them.

And, get this: Remember that date I spoke about in Anti-Valentine's Day? The one I thought was into me, but turned out to be avoiding me?

I bumped into him yesterday night in the club! I was totally gracious toward him. We're cool, man, we're cool.

But a part of me couldn't help wondering, "What went wrong?" As you know, I thought the date went pretty well, and so I almost bounded after him to ask, "Hey, mind telling me what turned you off?"

Thank God for Issac, one of my incredibly-good friends, who kept me from going after him and demanding an explanation. In the end I just let it go, chalking it up to one of those things that just wasn't meant to be, a myriad of misperceptions and misunderstandings.

We're cool man, we're cool.

See, here's the thing. I'm very much like a straight guy in the sense that you have to spell it out for me. I'm extremely EXTREMELY bad at taking hints, as many of my friends will tell you. I am terribly bad at assessing my surroundings, and I have to work hard at my situational awareness especially in cases where emotions are running high. In the end I am more likely to crack a really inappropriate joke that will either defuse the tension or make it 100% worse.

So if you are on a date with me, and something I'm doing isn't to your liking, you need to make it clear to me what I'm doing wrong. And by 'clear' I don't mean little "er-hems" that are supposed to mean something to me other than you have phlegm in your throat.

(Yes. I'm a blockhead that way. Think Phil Dunphy from Modern Family.)

Of course I'm not stereotyping straight guys. I know some who are very savvy at EQ, and are able to play out emotions like a member of a professional bomb squad.

But I'm not like that. I can actively change what I'm doing, shut up, or try to improve the situation, but only if you make it obvious there is something about me you're not getting. Otherwise, it won't go anywhere with me, and you'll end up still being frustrated.

And of course, I won't be able to read if you're not into me. It's a skill I'm working on - please do not forget I'm only 19 years of age - so I need a lot of spelling-it-out-for-me in this aspect. Don't start avoiding me, because then I'll start messaging you with things like, "Dude. Are you alive?"

Of course after a while I'll get the hint and back off, but it would really save me some time and self-doubt if you would just take the small effort to text back, "Hey. I think we should be friends for now."

I would text that to you if, on my side, I felt things weren't going right, so I expect the same courtesy. How difficult can that be?

"Girl, give it up! He's just not that into you."

A Funny Dynamic

Yesterday I was at another camp for a course, and it was only during lunchtime that I remembered my best friend was actually posted in that camp!

My best friend is straight, so it's a funny dynamic we have. Most of the gay people I know have only best friends who are gay, and their circle of friends tends to also be exclusively AJ.

Of course it's expected, because nothing bonds two people more than a common trait like sexual orientation.

But why make things so exclusive?

Can't a straight guy be best friends with a gay guy?

First of all, I have to admit I have some very un-AJ tastes. Sure, I love Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and don't get me started on the Wonder Girl Taylor Swift, but my favorite band in the world is Angels and Airwaves.

I love their fantastic intros, space-inspired atmospherics, experimental style and varied themes. What's more, lead singer Tom DeLonge was formerly (presently?) of another fantastic band Blink 182, and their current bassist Matt Wachter was also formerly from the great great 30stm.

My best friend loves AvA too, and we both attended their first concert in Singapore in 2008.

On top of that, we share a devotion to FRIENDS, and it's funny how we used to quote lines back and forth at each other at rapid speed. I love Phoebe most, while he loves Chandler.

That's not the only TV show we love... SURVIVOR is another big part of our shared entertainment interests. He thinks Russell Hantz's the best, I think Rob Mariano was a hoot back in Survivor: Heroes vs Villains. What a coincidence season 22 features both of them in opposing tribes.

We had both joined canoeing back in our junior year, and we both share a love for fitness and health, what with him being all tall and muscular and an officer-to-be, and me having a weird fascination with pull-ups. We've swam and just hung out at his condo's pool many times.

But go beyond that... and what do we have?

How about a support system?

At first, when I texted him about my relationship woes and troubles, he always ignored them. He would either not respond, or later tell me, "Dude... I don't want to hear about your gay issues!"

My response would be, "I always listen to your girl issues, so could you at least listen to my guy problems? You don't even have to give advice."

It was only fair! He complied with that agreement for a while, until finally he actually said, "OK, why don't I don't tell you any girl stuff at all, and you don't tell me any gay guy stuff!"

That hurt. So I couldn't rely on him to give me a good outsider's point of view when I had relationship woes. I realized maybe our friendship didn't transcend the sexual orientation barrier, which was tragic.

Then recently, I was getting over a really bad couple of weeks where I had been emotionally played. I drunk-texted him rather whinily at 2 am in the morning, something like, "Why doesn't he like me anymore? When he was the one who started this?"

And to my surprise, he texted me back, telling me something like don't be sad, and move on. And word-for-word, quote-unquote, "Just go date someone else."

I was really surprised. And let me tell you, nothing helps you get over heartbreak like your best friend doing a 180 degree spin on his head.

Not only did he absorb the gravity of my emotion, but he actually offered advice!

So... after four years, something finally gave.

Why is he my best friend? He knows how completely and utterly "useless" I am in the armed forces, but doesn't care. ("Hm, why do they still send you on course?") He knows there are better places out there for me. ("Singapore's not open enough...") and of course, he expects me to be his listening ear too. ("I'm gonna get a girl end of this year man hahahaha!")

What more could a guy ask for?

Lessons (I): Reading List

Recently, I've completed some books and articles on my reading list and started on more... My list seems to be growing, not shrinking. (But I won't complain because reading is the greatest joy in life!)

And I've learned a couple of lessons from them:

1) Steve Dublanica's Waiter Rant

What a fantastic read. Introspective, witty, and juicy, this book is a must read. The Waiter dishes on his experiences working in The Bistro, an upscale and chic restaurant somewhere in New York.

After reading it, I learn to never take my talents for granted, and to be unafraid of failure and falling. If anything, failure will train my resilience and hone my talent.

2) Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Of course I had to read this. One of the most talked-about books in recent memory, Battle Hymn is an amazing memoir chronicling a self-proclaimed "Chinese mother's" attempts in raising her daughters to be stereotypically, the best in everything.

But there is a lesson to be learned: It is important that you work hard at what you love most, achieving a good balance between the Asian and Western raising styles, because a gift will waste away to nothing if no effort is put in to take it to the top.

3) Natalie Portman was also a precocious scientist

Did you know she made it to the semi-finals of an IBM scholarship science fair? Did you know she was a brilliant student of psychology and neuroscience in an Ivy League? And how about the kicker: If she had an upcoming appearance on Letterman scheduled, she would submit her paper early!

Lesson here: Never procrastinate, and always submit work early. Don't make excuses for yourself, your failures, and manage your time well. The great people of our generation have common traits that have led to their successes, like a great work ethic.

Oh, and also, it doesn't matter if you come from an artistic, academic or scientific background... performing and acting and the Screen accepts all. Encouraging thought!

The Kids Are All Right

**MILD SPOILERS AHEAD**

Since Academy Award buzz is still up over the Web...

I managed to finish watching The Kids Are All Right (one of the 10 pictures nominated for Best Picture which eventually went to The King's Speech) over this weekend, and after watching it, I feel a great deal of emotion, regarding both the film and Singapore's decision to censor it in Singapore, giving it an R21 rating and a "one print" restriction.

Yes, I have managed to watch it still - don't ask me how - and after watching it, I have two thoughts: disgusted at Singapore's censorship laws and marvelling at the beauty of the relationship between Nic and Jules in the film.

It is so difficult to start a relationship, be in a relationship, let alone maintain it for 18 years, which is how old the daughter in the film, Joni, is. The movie celebrates such a relationship, from the little ways Nic and Jules poke fun at each other, have oral sex, have dinner around the table, etc.

It also warns of the pitfalls of such a long relationship, from the eventual staleness of sex, to feeling unappreciated, to looking at your partner, and sometimes just feeling... nothing.

Recently, my one and only crush - whom we shall call K - celebrated his 21st birthday, and at the dinner at a Japanese restaurant we met two of his friends, who have been together for 8 years.

EIGHT YEARS.

(Yes, I am nineteen, so eight years is a relatively long time for me.)

And during the dinner, they still looked at each other lovingly, playfully poked each other's arm once in a while, and presented K's birthday gift to him together...

I was so amazed.

What went through my head was how much work it takes to maintain a successful relationship, to be attached to each other through time and rough times and poor decisions. And for those who work hard, and put in the effort, it really does pay off.

What makes this tougher for gay guys more so than lesbian women - and this is a well-known fact - is that guys are hornier. The topic of "sex" is always on our minds, and after 8 years, it would really take a lot of effort to still consistently surprise and satisfy your partner, keeping him with you and not let him be drawn to other people.

And yet, even though the couple in The Kids Are All Right face the same challenges, somehow they manage to come out, pun intended, all right. It truly is a feel-good movie for the family.

But Singapore's censorship board has said it "promotes and normalises a homosexual lifestyle", finding fault with the normalcy in which the lesbian family in the movie goes through daily life. What is wrong with that?

Joni has to grow up, go to college, her younger brother Laser has to deal with bad company and like any married couple, Jules and Nic have to juggle their relationship, their careers, and parenthood.

If anything, it is beautiful that they go through their troubles like any other couple - showing the world that yes, their family is no different from anyone else's.

It is sad and insulting that Singapore's censors have chosen to again hide the beautiful portrayal of a same-sex relationship through bigoted conservatism and poorly-considered restrictions.

Look at how Jules and Nic watch television together. Look at how they make decisions about their kids, go shopping for groceries, have dinner with their mutual friends, laugh and cry together. If you tell me you don't find it heartwarming, you have no heart.

Why censor it otherwise?

In fact, I was so emotionally invested in the film, I must say I felt a little jealous as I watched it...

Yes! I got stricken with Couples Envy... of a fictional gay couple!

And that's because that is where I want to eventually see myself: spending the rest of my life with the love of my life.

Choosing our friend's birthday gift together. Reading in bed next to him. Watching a fancy self-congratulatory awards show during dinner with him, where we'll both criticize the horrible fashion choices of some of the A-listers. Not that my fashion choices are any better.

And of course, I want to fight with him too, disagree with him, and having to put in the effort to make our relationship stronger. What is true love without a few problems along the way? If he is your true love, these problems are the ones that can be resolved... so work hard, and resolve them.

And in the end, things, hopefully, will be all right. :)